Christmas Warmth
by Chris Emrys
Summary: He tries to, he really does, but Allen cannot mask the sadness that he feels even as all around them, people are joyful at the approaching Christmas. Johhny and Kanda are not blind to it either, but maybe, it isn't such a bad thing. [Written for DGM Secret Santa 2017!]


Hello dears!

So this was my gift to lostnoxhs for DGM Secret Santa 2017, who wanted a Yullen Christmas one shot! I would honestly say the Yullen is light, but I hope it's enjoyable~  
No real warning needed!

* * *

 **Christmas Warmth**

It all started when Allen saw a father and his son in front of a shop's window. The scene, the way the older man seemed eager and the young boy tried to dissuade but looked basheful, was very similar to a memory he had, of Mana and he. And with Christmas approaching, it was enough to throw Allen off.

And of course, his two companions had to notice it. Kanda only let his gaze linger, but Johnny was more directed, concern on his face as he questionned if Allen felt okay. The white haired male smiled in reassurance, assuring he was fine, but Johnny's concern didn't leave, and Kanda's brows only furrowed.

It made Allen wonder, what kind of expression he gave, watching that father and son. He just hoped they wouldn't ask.

* * *

Allen should have known. With how much snow had fallen, it was better to stay in the town; and naturally, that was when Johnny suggested they figure out what they would do for Christmas. At least Kanda didn't look interested, but he sent another look at Allen when the white haired just shrugged about it. But soon he smiled, covering the lack of enthusiasm, offering they take a look at the shops to get ideas.

Johnny beamed and lead the way, but Allen felt the piercing gaze of Kanda at the back of his head.

* * *

There was only so much enthusiam Allen could muster before his mask took over, his smile not genuine, and his eyes guarded. Part of him did feel… happy, or maybe warm, that Johnny seemed intent to have a nice stay for the end of year. He knew how Allen had been on his own after all, from the moment Kanda and Johnny had found Allen, the scientist had made sure Allen got proper food and rest. Even Kanda would keep an eye on him; and luckily the Fourteenth hadn't tried anything recently.

But the fact remained that Christmas was also his birthday, not that he had told any of his two companions. A day that he had loved, because Mana chose it, because it was the day he was adopted. Yet, after Mana died… Allen would try, to still see it as a good day. But all he had, was the nostalgia and pain, that his beloved father wasn't here anymore to celebrate with him.

 _Oh god, not now…_ Allen felt his throat close up, and pretended to look at one of the many shops. Bad idea, because he saw the grinning shadow, causing his own expression to shut off even more. And then he noticed, the dark eyes of Kanda that had been watching him.

They gaze locked into the reflection. Kanda hold it for a few seconds, and Allen swore he could hear it, the silent message of _I'll get the truth out of you_ , before Kanda looked away. Allen felt his heart beat faster, to know for sure the dark haired knew something was up.

But why did he feel almost **relieved**?

* * *

"Why the moody face, Moyashi?"

Allen threw a dark look at Kanda, but he knew as soon as Kanda's gaze sharpened, that his lack of vocal reaction was yet another sign that he was not fine. His silver eyes drifted off, watching Johnny check out deeper in the antique store. He heard a faint growl, sensed Kanda stepping closer, and he glared warningly at his fellow Exorcist.

It was when Allen sighed that Kanda lost some tenseness. "Does it matter?"

"You're worrying him," Kanda nudged his head toward Johnny, "And you know he won't let it go. So better spill the beans now. Moyashi."

Allen lifted his eyes upward, seemingly trying not to get frustrated, but really, he couldn't help the amusement at the word play he heard. He could tell, from the corner of his eyes, that Kanda too was fighting off a smile. It felt strange, but not unwelcomed. The event of that day, with Alma, it changed something between them. Finally, he closed his eyes, and sighed as he lowered back his face.

"Christmas is my birthday… The date Mana adopted me." He opened his gaze, and smiled with no humor at Kanda's surprised look. "It's a bit hard to enjoy it. I'm sure you can guess why."

"… Alleeeeeen-" A voice sounded; and Allen turned.

The white haired felt no surprise, really, when he was met with the sight of a misty eyes Johnny. Allen still looked startled, nipping his lips and extending hands toward the scientist as if he could calm his friend down. Johnny spoke first though, suddenly looking fierce.

"You should have told us! Does it mean you prefer if we get to a quiet place?" Then he faltered, looking conflicted. "But really, your birthday..." And then his eyes lit up. "What about a special meal?"

Allen tried not to, but his eyes brightened. He heard a snort, and threw a dark look, but Kanda was not looking at him. After a bit, he said, "Do as you wish."

Allen stared at Kanda for a bit, enough that the dark haired male shifted a bit, and then at Johnny's hopeful look. "Well… I guess… Maybe?"

The white haired saw the way Johnny beamed, and Allen knew he was doomed. In a way that made him feel warm, like he hadn't in a while.

* * *

The real doom came when Johnny insisted Allen shouldn't see anything that would be for Christmas, and Kanda looked displeased at the idea of shopping, which lead Johnny to declare the two might as well stay together at the inn, and before any of the two could protest, Johnny had walked off. Allen swore he saw the young man grin, very happy with himself, before the door closed.

Awkward silence filled the air, Allen dropped on the bed while Kanda was sitting at the window. Timcanpy hovered in the air, floating around the room, and Kanda's gaze followed in the reflection. The golem went to Allen eventually, bumping his small body into the white haired's cheek, and then nuzzling there, making Allen chuckle.

Kanda observed Allen in the reflection, attentive, but it did not change that unlike the first time they found Allen, the presence of the Fourteenth was smaller. And the edge of exhaustion had left Allen's features, while the guarded look he had before had softened. All in all, there was no doubts in Kanda's mind, that Allen had been lonely, and that it had weakened his mind.

Initially, Kanda had thought he was looking for Allen to kill the Fourteenth, as Alma had warned him, that Allen was a Noah. That he would vanish. Stopping the Fourteenth from using Allen's body was the least he could do. But then, Johnny and he had found a Allen still struggling, still walking. The fourteenth had showed for a brief moment, at night, but before Kanda had even acted, the golden eyes had looked at him; and then Allen's body dropped back to sleep.

It had been the only incident, and one thing that had marked Kanda, was the difference in the aura. Kanda had not realized right away that the Fourteenth had been in control, not until he had looked at the swordsman, all because the aura lacked the murderous intent he had felt at the awakening. It had been intimidating, yes, and Kanda would admit in a way stronger that he had ever felt; but it was as if he had not sensed ill intents. Not only that, but he was certain he saw fear for a second, before the Fourteenth had left. Fear of the one that had hurt Allen's body so much the Noah within had awakened.

It made Kanda wonder, then, if it really was the Fourteenth he had seen then. Or someone else. But whatever the case had been, it had been enough to have Allen suffer less. And that was just as good, if not better, that what Kanda's original goal had been. As long as Allen was not alone, and possibly as long as Kanda was around, it seemed the Fourteenth would not come out.

Kanda diverted his gaze from the white haired's reflection, trying not to linger on the warmth he felt. But at the same time, Allen had indeed protected Kanda in his own way. Why couldn't it be Kanda's turn? He had a debt after all, one to repay, even if it was by staying with Allen at all times. He still wasn't sure how long peace would last, after all.

Johnny might not have had a bad idea, after all. Who knew, if Allen would have a next birthday…

* * *

The three of them had ended up spending the next two days simply visiting town, for the most part. The joyful mood hadn't been quite welcomed with Allen, but Johnny and Kanda knew why, and Johnny would insist to get them to quieter place, if not go back to the inn. Allen had felt somewhat guilty for that, but it only made Johnny get that fierce, protective look and even Kanda would throw dark look. So, no feeling guilty. And in all honesty, it had made Allen feel warm.

Of course, Johnny had gotten out once or twice more, making Allen and Kanda spent time just the two of them. Timcanpy, the little imp, had soon gotten in his head to make the two interact. The first time, it was with Tim headbutting Kanda and then sitting on his head, making the swordsman grumble, but he knew those teeth would clamp on his fingers if he tried removing him, so he just had to accept it. That lead to Allen trying not to laugh, and Kanda muttering about who the hell programmed the golden golem like this.

And somehow it turned into a small conversation, that as far as Allen knew, it was Cross, leading Kanda to snort and say he wasn't surprised then. To which Allen snickered and agreed. Kanda teased that it also explained the Moyashi being one, and Allen couldn't help it, he threw a pillow at Kanda.

This was how Johnny came back to sounds, worriedly slammed door open, and found the two teens with flat things that used to be pillows hanging in their hands, feathers all around including their hairs, looking at the older male like deers in headlights.

Johnny had no idea if he wanted to scold them or laugh. The sudden streams of laughters the innkeeper heard was the reply.

The good thing was, the innkeeper was mostly amused at them, but Johnny still scolded them once they were cleaning up the room, new pillows on the bed. Allen and Kanda tried to glare at each other, but somehow, ended up both with lips twitching. And then a pillow hit the back of Allen's head. The white haired stared at Johnny, who looked startled himself, and then Allen smiled sweetly.

"… Allen, Allen no, we just got new ones."

A pillow flew and hit Johnny at the back of the head, bouncing off. From Kanda. At least he hadn't thrown it hard enough to hurt. Johnny twitched. The innkeeper passed by the room, and casually mentionned, "These are polyester," then continued on her way.

 _Polyester? No mess!_ Almost at the same time, three pillows flew. Timcanpy flew to the door, headbutting it close before hovering high, moving around, and totally recording. Eventually seeing all three lay on the floor, breathing heavily, someone chuckled, someone else did, a snort, and then giggles.

It left them with just enough energy to eat some, and then drop in bed.

* * *

Before Allen knew it, Christmas day was there. The eve was spent quietly, but today, Johnny insisted they went out. Allen trusted into his friend though, so he let himself be dragged out. The past two days hadn't been bad, and he would admit even good. He found himself talking with Kanda more, kind of, and it stopped his mood from dropping too much. Though he knew that yesterday night, the way he was quieter had been noticed, but it felt nice, that the two both knew why; and more importantly, didn't force cheerfulness on him.

Surprise flashed into his gaze when Johnny was leading the way out of town. The scientist kept his gaze forward, but Allen glanced at Kanda, who had a little smirk now. It was when, after half an hour, the sight of a small hut came that Allen felt deep warmth blossom and his throat closed off. He knew his friend enough to realize what this meant.

A place away from the festivities, so Allen wouldn't have to see and hear all the joy when he would miss his precious father. But he wouldn't be alone; and already Allen smelled food from within. The white haired stood in the entrance once they went inside, it was one of those safe hut, but since no one had tried leaving town, Johnny had likely kept it for them. And considering Kanda had gone out himself a few times, it was likely he helped bring the food here.

The scientist waved in front of Allen's face, then smiled if a bit nervously. Then he squeaked out when he found himself hugged by Allen. But that brought a happy smile to Johnny's face, who returned the hug and patted Allen's back, pretending he didn't feel the few tears even if they pained his heart.

Then to everyone surprise, Allen moved to Kanda. Johnny lifted both eyebrow, Kanda stood frozen, and Allen didn't really seem to realize. Hesitantly, Kanda placed his hands on Allen's back, and tried to tell himself he wasn't feeling warm. That didn't work, as he felt almost disappointed when Allen pulled back, cheeks flushed a little bit but smiling.

Then Allen clapped his hands together, turning toward the set table, eyes bright. "We can have breakfast now, right?"

Johnny had barely agreed with giggles, that Allen was already digging into food, prompting the two others to join him.

* * *

Allen laid on the roof of the hut, watching the stars in the night sky, hands resting one over another on his chest, Timcanpy enlarged behind his head to act as pillow. Johnny and Kanda were asleep, and initially so had been Allen. The day had been a nice one, just food and playing in the snow, no big celebration, and no lingering look if Allen got a faraway one, no question if tears slipped past his eyes.

Such a strange feeling, really, to feel so warm and to feel so nostalgic. To smile at his friends, and then find his gaze looking for someone else, only to realize that wouldn't happen. To have people be happy for the day that had been chosen as his birth, and not have the one that really made Allen first live.

One, two, three tears trailed down his cheeks, and he lifted on arm, brushing them off. He dropped his hand back where it had been, blink at the face at the corner of his eyes, and let out a squeak when it registered.

Kanda snorted, but said nothing, instead sitting beside Allen and gazing up at the sky, leaned back with a hand supporting his weight, one leg bent to rest his other arm.

"Couldn't sleep?" Kanda finally asked, voice low for the remaining of the trio that still slept.

Allen hummed softly. "Slept, got dreams."

Kanda glanced for the corner of his eyes, understanding well enough what Allen meant. Then he noticed something, and his body turned, he leaned down to have a hand brush off some of the snow that had stuck to Allen's cheek.

Both boys blinked, when they realized how they ended. Allen on his back, Kanda hovering above him, with a hand on his cheek. Their gaze met, Allen's almost… lost and confused, while Kanda's seemed blank.

Allen's heart jumped in his chest when Kanda leaned down, the sensation of lips on his following. Those lips lingered, dark eyes half opened watching his wide one, and then Kanda pulled back just a bit. An uncertain look showed then in those dark eyes, and it looked like Kanda was going to move off.

Allen's left hand came at the back of Kanda's head, and pushed him back down, lips pressing to his. He seemed shocked, tense for a second, and then he too returned the press of lips.

A sound, like a small yelp, made them broke apart and gaze to the side. Johnny's head poked from the roof's little window, very red. "Sorry! I'll-" One hand showed to point behind himself, "Go back."

Johnny vanished back, while the two on the roof just blinked. Allen opened his mouth, even taking a breath, as if to speak, but he barely turned his head that Johnny suddenly showed again, biting his lips. Both gazes were back on him.

"… I thought you should know, but I'm pretty certain Timcanpy is recording from, ah, the perfect angle."

Allen looked up and so did Kanda. A sweatdrop showed of the enlarged golem, who had shifted a bit to, indeed, record at the best angle. A second of utter silence, excepr from a slight breeze. Johnny still there with twitching lips. Then,

"TIMCANPY!"

Snow fell at the dual cry of the golem's name, who wasted no time zooming off. Not without turning his body at the yelps he heard, snorting to himself when he realized both Allen and Kanda had tried to make a grab at him, resulting in Allen having hit Kanda's stomach with a knee and Kanda falling on Allen.

And then Timcanpy ducked in the air, avoiding the flying sword. Not without grabbing with his maws the handle, ending up pulled for a bit before he flapped his wings to make himself stop, sword hanging from his mouth.

No letting Mugen get lost for a bit, or else he would really have a angry Kanda to deal with!

 **The end**


End file.
